The Overeager Freshman
The Hot Mess
The Parentally Dependent
The Functioning Alcoholic
It’s okay to admit that you kind of admire the Functioning Alcoholic’s ability to drink so much and still pass all of her classes. She can hide a hangover better than the CIA, manages to sneak alcohol into every function, and still looks like she’s got her life together. She’s every college kid’s hero.
There’s always one in each class, and they’ve been pissing off the rest of student body for decades. The Overachiever sits in the front row, asks a million questions, actually reads the syllabus, always does the homework, and is involved in every single club possible. It’s too easy to hate them.
So easy on the eyes, but so hard on the heart. This particular breed of male is the life of the party. He walks in, the party starts, and then every girl is dying for his attention. Don’t worry, he’ll pay just enough attention to each girl before he selects a few to hook up with that night. Then he’ll never speak to them again, and the cycle will start all over at the next party. Stay away from this guy at all costs.
The Non-Trad is almost as unbearable as the Overeager Freshman. It’s cool that she’s older and decided to get a degree later in life, but if she doesn’t stop trying to look cool and mother the whole class at the same time you’ll probably flip that tray of muffins in her lap. Why can’t the Non-Trad just keep her years of experience and “wisdom” to herself?
Greek life is cool and all, but the limit absolutely exists. The Greek Obsessed only wears clothing boasting their sorority or fraternity letters, only talks about the other members, only attends Greek functions, and only networks with Greek alum. They’re all Greek, all the time, and the real world is totally going to bite them in the ass.
The Disney Princess
She’s pretty, sweet, and always well-dressed. You can’t really look at her straight-on because she’s a mass of pink and rhinestones, and she kind of glows in an offensive manner. The Disney Princess came to college with one goal and one goal only: To find her prince. She’s determined to snag a man and ride off into the sunset after graduation.