Fifty Shades of Grey originally started as a Twilight fan-fiction (shocker), and it’s grown into something even more disastrous than the original. This book is essentially soft porn, and it’s actually quite painful to read because just like Stephanie Meyer, E. L. James also has a deplorable grasp of the English language. Can we just ban this one from society altogether?
This book as paraded as a feminist novel, but in all honesty, it’s kind of the opposite. This book tells the story of Edna Pontellier, a housewife who decides she no longer wants to be a mother, which is the traditional role of women during that time. The idea behind this book is fine, but it’s the tone that brings it down a few pegs. It insinuates that because women were treated badly during this time, we should feel bad for ourselves -- to this day! No thank you, we’ll rise above it.
You might be surprised to see Harper Lee on this list because her first novel, To Kill a Mockingbird, is one of the most iconic novels ever written. But her sequel to this book? Not so much. Reviewers say the book seems unfinished, but even worse than that, it's been rumored that Lee didn't even want to publish the book, but was coerced into it as a money-making scheme. Out of respect for her, we should totally boycott and/or burn this book.
Gone With the Wind is a true classic, but its "sequel," as Donald McCaig put it, is “ a stunningly uneventful 823-page holding action.” As to not tarnish the image of the first novel, we should pretend that this book doesn't even exist. 823 pages of nothingness? Most schoolchildren would probably take detention over reading this.
The Catcher in the Rye is a tough one. Some consider this to be one of the greatest books of the 20th century, while others say this book is disappointingly underwhelming. Most schoolchildren would likely agree with the latter. This book attempts to discuss the ideas of teenage angst and rebellion, but critics say that Salinger just tried too hard to enhance the mystique of the novel and that ultimately brought down the entire novel.
The Secret is a popular self-help book that touts the idea that positive thinking alone can alter your life. This book has been widely criticized because some of the claims are absolutely ridiculous, including one that you can control your weight by not observing overweight people. What?! Even more than that, this book can be highly detrimental to someone who really needs professional help because Byrne claims that positive thinking can fix literally anything, including natural disasters (not kidding).
You go into this book thinking that you’re going to be reading about exciting adventures out at sea, but what do you get instead? Endless, boring passages describing the brutal nature of the whaling industry. We’d rather be the whale getting whaled than be forced to read this snoozefest. This whaling information is fine, but it’s just the wrong setting for it. Melville likely would have been better at making documentaries than novels.
If you hated The Scarlet Letter with a passion in high school, you’re not alone. The plot of this book would be fine if Hawthorne ever got to the damn plot! Instead, he forces you to read pages and pages of useless words that have nothing to do with the intended plot. Perhaps if you started reading the book from the middle, it would be almost halfway bearable.
Ah, where to start? Not only does Twilight read as though it was written by a middle schooler, but there isn’t a strong plot, characters, or anything to make up for the terrible writing. Bella, the sullen, lovesick protagonist is the prime example of what girls should not strive for -- so maybe they should read it to scoff at her?
We can’t even narrow it down to one book. He has so many half-baked books on the market that it makes you wonder how he even had the time to write them all. Well, considering how terribly written each of those books are, we suppose it’s possible he could have written each of these books in about a day or two. Great money maker? Yes. Great reputation maker? Not quite.
(Image via JamesPatterson)